I often get guys telling me “we kissed on the second date now what?” and the answer is really simple – it depends on what you want to happen from here in out.
The second date it a unique experience that doesn’t happen quite as often as the first and that means that when it comes to this experience, the pressure is most definitely increased.
What makes the second date so different?
You see, the second date is not like the first. A first date is when you feel each other out. You get a sense for whether you’re attracted to each other, and you try to find out whether there are any gaping holes in the potential relationship moving forward.
By the second date, you know that you’re interested in each other. This one is a little more serious. It’s a time when you both get to explore what it is you want out of this thing, potentially, moving ahead.
This is what makes the second date kiss all the more important – it lays the groundwork for date number 3. And we all know what’s possible by date number 3. That’s right. Sex.
If you’re asking yourself the question “we kissed on a second date now what?” you probably realized that you’ve established some sort of groundwork already. You’ve established some intimacy.
It means that the next time you meet, you’re not going to be shaking hands. Not only have you got that first kiss out of the way, but you can now start looking forward to what comes next.
So what does come next? That’s entirely up to you and your partner. Maybe you want to leave it there for a while – or maybe you want to take it up a notch. Regardless of the next step, you’ve opened up the door to a world of possibilities and that is pretty exciting.
What do you do the next time you meet?
The next time you meet her, you need to kiss her. The awkward “will he, won’t he” moment passed in the second date when you made the decision to kiss, so don’t roll back the clock now. Kiss her as you’re greeting her and you’ve set up the tone for the rest of the third date.
Remember, not every kiss has to be as time-stopping as the first. When you’re out and about in public, you might want to keep it a little lighter – lingering only for a second longer to let her know that you can’t get enough of her.
Don’t go trying to suck her face off in the middle of KFC. No one is going to thank you for that.
Do you need a label?
If you’ve reached that point where you’re going “we kissed on a second date now what”, you’ll probably want to start thinking about how (and if) you want to label this thing you’re doing.
If you’re the type of guy who wants to keep things causal, that’s fine – but let her know. That way, everyone is on the same page.
If, on the other hand, you’re looking for something a little more real, it’s okay to let her know too – but make sure that you’re not coming on too strong.
You don’t want to be telling her that you want to spend the rest of your life with her after the second date, but you can make it known that you’re looking to get into a serious relationship if the right person comes along.
Just as it’s important to let her know what you want, it’s just as important to find out what she wants. She doesn’t need to present a ten year life plan, but it’s good to know where someone is aiming for if you’re planning on getting involved.
Getting more relaxed
By the time you’ve reached the third date, it’s time to stop focusing on impressing her – this date is all about figuring out whether or not you have longer term potential, so it’s time to get a little more comfortable.
The third date might be about putting aside the thought of booking a dinner at a back-breakingly expensive restaurant and rather trying out a local fair or bowling alley. It’s about setting aside some real conversation time.
Of course, you’ll both have the thought of that great second date kiss in the back of your mind, so if you’re planning on moving the date from the bowling alley to bedroom, it’s all the more reason to ensure you’re establishing some real intimacy on this outing.
When it comes to answering the question “we kissed on the second date, what should we do now ”, the answer is really up to you. You’ve laid the groundwork and gotten a great response – now’s the time to settle in and enjoy the spoils.